A Madman With a Box

A Madman With a Box I'm a 29 year old writer, photographer, philosophizer, social observer, nerd, cat herder, and soapbox ranter. Probably a few more adjectives I've forgotten.

Raindrops and wandering thoughts

There’s the drip drop sound percolating down the roof and the reverberating ambience of synths cycling in the air.  It leaves a wondering space, asking who else is peddling through these pages, looking for another analogous person to connect to.  That right person to write the wrongs of the day and pass a moment as if tomorrow were torn from a history that hasn’t been.  Night looms and languishes away with each lulling second, reading words that fall into digital salt flats, collecting with consciousnesses never clicked and words watered down until there’s a sea of silence. Culled and quieted, kept in their place by binary pots and pans that’ll be flushed with the morning bathwater.  We were just words wandering underneath a bursting bubble sky, looking to be felt.  

Please listen to this while reading this — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gysxTFqvA0&feature=youtu.be

Getting back to basics

Trimmed the blogs I was following from 300+ to 120ish. I needed focus on tumblr.  Which seems like trying to calm down a crackhead right after a hit. It’s nearly impossible on a website designed to have multiple points of stimuli.

As you can tell, I’ve been less than active for quite some time.  It comes down to the wizzing feeling you get on tumblr and the expectation to post.  Fuck if I care anymore.  It was taking hours from my life looking at people who could give a damn about me but wasted as much time posting things up.  So it’s time to see if I can reign this bad boy in by unfollowing the ungodly people I’ve amassed.

Reasons for removal include:

I might like your cute selfies, but you’re taken and and you have plenty of horndogs after you.  Let’s be fair, you get off posting nudes.  However you want to coat it, it is something you like to do.  It’s an ego stroke.  There are your detractors, but otherwise is does a body good.  Especially when you’re not sure about yourself.  Sorry about the generalizations and people will be butt hurt, but if you don’t like it, unfollow me and have a nice day.

There is only some so much porn I can stand.  Seriously.  I don’t mind tasteful stuff (that’s an oxymoron).  But god damn, I don’t see to see an endless scroll of scrotums ramming a girl in a tight shot six days from sunday.  I’m also tired of coke can cocks. I’m not afraid to say hey, I’m less than average in size but damn I know how to use it. Complainers.  Endless complains about trivial trysts and tawdry tantrums.  Your followers might care, but I don’t.  Be an adult and figure it out in your head, rather than be soothed and pampered like a toddler.  If you want to whine, go buy a chihuahua.

Gifs of cartoons with nothing of intelligence.  Sorry kids, most of your cartoons in the last 10 years could have been written by a dropout.  Special shout out to pokeman lovers because that was equally as awful but somewhat forgivable because no one expected top notch television from 3 trainers that look like they skipped a formal education.

Off the wall posts so far out there coming from exceedingly boring people. You read their self statements and realize if it weren’t for these wild posts, they’re as plain as low fat splenda sweeted vanilla.  Walk into their homes and you see a couch, a tv, a bed, zero books, maybe some family photos.  They’re average and just want to pretend for one second, they’re more interesting than they are.  But to be interesting, you have to be somewhat unbalanced.  Go figure.

Childhood fetishism.  I know it sounds great to go back to childhood.  No responsibility, play all day long, all the awful cartoons you can watch. But I don’t need you walking me through your childhood on tumblr.  Actually, no one does. If you want to walk me through it, write a book for children.  That would be far more productive and at least I’d have nothing to retort other than fuck, at least you tried.

I must be extra ornery today.  With that, I take a bow and exeunt. End Transmission.

Doctor Who…Wow

I’ve not been a fan of the last couple seasons of Doctor Who…but that 50th Anniversary special….Wow. I have goosebumps from watching it.  Completely speechless.  That was…no words. And Gallifrey…he’s getting his home back.  Wow. I’m done now.

Let’s talk about self-entitlement for a moment…

I’ll never get why people believe they can have anonymity while posting personal details that would allow them to be found.  You cannot have it both ways.  You can either be face without a name or a name without a face.  You cannot be both.  Logically, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. 

Musing to myself, I think it has everything to do with the self-entitlement Americans, hell westerners as a whole believe themselves to have.  It is owed to them.  They can have it all.  You don’t like it, complain and you’ll get your way.  The losing team gets a trophy.  Parents call up secondary schools and universities so their kids don’t fail.  The customer is always right.  We can do great in life with minimal effort.  We can share every aspect of our lives online while hiding in the shadows.  

It is the mindset that, “The world has to conform to us on the stop of a dime because we feel nickel and dimed.”  Your way of thinking affects us, change it, now.  Smokers for instance have to endure cities passing no smoking in public ordinances.  I get that it isn’t a great habit, but that is their choice.  Why should personal preference be public policy?  In a nearby city to me, it costs more to get a ticket for smoking in public than to smoke marijuana in public.  Smoking is bad for your health, but it’s legal and that person’s choice.   

Moving on.  The world doesn’t owe you a damn thing and nor should the public pay you notice when you ask.  It is a courtesy not a privilege. 

dumpyspaceprincess:



dumpyspaceprincess:



I’ve just had a really angry day, you know?
Ok, but for real, I am so sick to the back teeth of creepy BBW porn blogs on here. For a lot of us, this is the only space for us to celebrate our bodies, and the last thing we need is some gross neckbeard wading in to “compliment” us by dehumanising us. Yes, my tits are the reason your dick has been pollenated with cheeto dust, what an honour.
Oh, and if your first instinct is to cry “oh well don’t post photos if it’s that much of a problem!” please take it elsewhere, because that shit is some straight-up victim blaming.



Bringing this back because when I painted it a few months ago I had no idea how often I’d have to go back and look at it as a reminder that, hey, I’m not an object for some random internet dude’s pleasure. And DEFINITELY not something to be ordered around because my fat acceptance doesn’t conform to a guy’s narrow views of what it should be. 



There is no nice way to chime in on this, but it becomes a question of authorship and the problem that faces every artist.  Whether you intend to give it that meaning or not, once something is released into the world, you lose control over it.  The meaning you set out with goes beyond you and into the hands of others.  It becomes open to interpretation and scrutiny.  It becomes something more (or less) than you intended.  A nude photo empowers that person and so they share.  Others empathize, some question, while others still find a different meaning all together (that being something to masturbate to).  It would be nice to believe the world should think like us, but it is narrow minded to believe that it is a real possibility given the 7 billion permutations walking around the planet.  
I am not condoning the dehumanization of a person through sexual desire, however one needs to be privy to the idea that it will happen.  It isn’t  what you intended, but someone out in the world is using their imagination to fulfill these desires.  Erotic nudes can be one of beauty and put the etches on the body into a light it is rarely ever seen it, while conversely someone will miss that vision and see tits, ass, pussy, and dick.It is two sides of the same coin.  Freedom and entrapment.  Expression and Voicelessness.  

Reblogged from sp00kyb00ty

dumpyspaceprincess:

dumpyspaceprincess:

I’ve just had a really angry day, you know?

Ok, but for real, I am so sick to the back teeth of creepy BBW porn blogs on here. For a lot of us, this is the only space for us to celebrate our bodies, and the last thing we need is some gross neckbeard wading in to “compliment” us by dehumanising us. Yes, my tits are the reason your dick has been pollenated with cheeto dust, what an honour.

Oh, and if your first instinct is to cry “oh well don’t post photos if it’s that much of a problem!” please take it elsewhere, because that shit is some straight-up victim blaming.

Bringing this back because when I painted it a few months ago I had no idea how often I’d have to go back and look at it as a reminder that, hey, I’m not an object for some random internet dude’s pleasure. And DEFINITELY not something to be ordered around because my fat acceptance doesn’t conform to a guy’s narrow views of what it should be. 

There is no nice way to chime in on this, but it becomes a question of authorship and the problem that faces every artist.  Whether you intend to give it that meaning or not, once something is released into the world, you lose control over it.  The meaning you set out with goes beyond you and into the hands of others.  It becomes open to interpretation and scrutiny.  It becomes something more (or less) than you intended.  

A nude photo empowers that person and so they share.  Others empathize, some question, while others still find a different meaning all together (that being something to masturbate to).  It would be nice to believe the world should think like us, but it is narrow minded to believe that it is a real possibility given the 7 billion permutations walking around the planet.  

I am not condoning the dehumanization of a person through sexual desire, however one needs to be privy to the idea that it will happen.  It isn’t  what you intended, but someone out in the world is using their imagination to fulfill these desires.  Erotic nudes can be one of beauty and put the etches on the body into a light it is rarely ever seen it, while conversely someone will miss that vision and see tits, ass, pussy, and dick.

It is two sides of the same coin.  Freedom and entrapment.  Expression and Voicelessness.  

(Source: fashiondisastercecil)

Life and Photography: Looking Through The Mirror

So I just scored an internship working for Milk Studios.  I have been applying here for a few years now and it’s a trip having walked in and had the guy pretty much meet me just to say I had the job.  Never in my life had that. I was in some tweed pants, light gray long sleeve, and a dark gray vest, carrying a black leather briefcase like bag.  I looked like I was there for an executive meeting waiting in the lobby.  The employees were in t-shirts and jeans.  I pretty much spoke to the guy 5-10 minutes and I got the offer.  I’m elated yet cautiously shocked.  That moment where I want to feel like a boss, yet it feels so out of character.  

I’m rather hard on myself and follow the shortcomings rather than the successes.  There’s a photographer who also skates I met over the weekend before a big competition.  Super nice guy, works on some fairly big things.   I wasn’t expecting him to be as nice as he was to me nor the nicest words I’ve heard in a while:

"Let’s hang very soon! It was an honor to meet you man. I love your work and your humble nature! Funny dude too.. Lol. I’ll be visiting again soon enough. Let’s do work! Remember.. Come out to NJ/NY ANY DAY.. I got you covered."

Wow. Someone honored to meet me?  I’m just some shmuck who takes rollerblading photos and he works with Missy Elliot.  It’s strange because I don’t see myself as a person of interest. Which accounts for being humble.  It’s not that I am humble, I just don’t think I’ve accomplished things worth mentioning, especially in contrast to others in my field.  Either way, I don’t brag nor have hubris.  Okay, sometimes.  It’s just nice to know my work and reputation are better than the things I call myself.

I mean I ended up a regular contributor for my favorite skate magazine.  I was asked this past weekend to help film for a competition.  They released one video from the event and the second one is going to be almost all my footage.  I’ve been in the last 4-5 past issues and had a number of photos/interviews featured online. Pros in the LA area are usually referred to me with the kindest words from my editor, on how good I am. So strange. I don’t see it myself.  I remembered when I first started shooting, I looked up to their art director/staff photographer, wondering how he shot then edited his photos.  Deconstructing, wondering.  And here I am with a style of my own, but very much with the aesthetics I learned from his one photographer.  He was influential to me.  Last year at the same competition, he had some rather nice things to say about my photos.  I was such a little grommet, excited over his simple compliment.  I just never thought I’d have ended up working for them.

Much like I never thought I’d work for this photo studio.  I never think things will go my way.  I have the albatrosses from my upbringing and then some bearing on my shoulders.  I’m managing, I’m just going to be surprised at every step of the way.

I find myself in menagerie of thoughts, latent and lost, covered in a morning mist I cannot dispel.

Reblogged from thatweirdkiddyouknow

Why is it being a person of faith just automatically makes you a better person?  If you don’t believe, you’re seen as a weak individual who will never be saved.  And yet I look at a person of faith as if they’re a schizophrenic, with voices in their head and ideas that defy logic.   Their everyday lives are in contradiction to a book written thousands of years ago before the age of reason and science, yet they side with this living fossil full of fancy and fantasy.

(Source: idiotsonfb)

Reblogged from thisisnotindia

thisisnotindia:

roqayya:

Twitter responds to EBT shutdown with unhinged classism and racism; the privileged take to the #EBT hashtag and berate the poor for being, well, poor.

From demands that those on food stamps “sell their iPhones for food” to questions regarding “how many babies” women on EBT have “so they can get EBT benefits” — the hashtag is filled with grotesque jabs at poor minority groups (specifically Black people)

TW: White people being nasty

Powerfully stupid people here.  One, you can’t get any sort of alcoholic beverage with EBT. Two, there’s a reason the food that isn’t great for you is the cheapest (subsidies and of course you can get more food for less dollar).  Three, the assumption is all people on EBT are leeches to the society.

I love how only in America can you be considered lazy, sloven, and downright a charlatan if you cannot work and collect some sort of social aid.  It’s to say that if you can’t help yourself, there is something wrong with you.  That calvinist work ethic did a number on America.  It’s easy to say while we are a topic economic player and hold a strong position as a world power.  Wait until that collapses and we end up like Britain.  It’s not a surprise that our social programs were instituted during the Great Depression, when the economy is tanked and no one is able to take care of themselves.  The British Empire fell and surprise, so did the economy that would give way to their social programs.  It will take social-economic collapse for America to once again decide social programs are necessary.

Backtracking, it’s only been a couple hundred years since the western world has addressed the issue of racism.  Surprise, we haven’t gotten rid of it.  That’s only 8-10 generations.  We’ve made great strides, but in what world would we assume it would disappear?  We can’t even address the issue of haves and have nots.  What makes us think we can broach racism?  Which of course, is tied in with social class, work, education, and attitude.  

(Source: homagetothestruggle)

What a slow day!  Who wants to converse?  Anything and everything up for grabs. Get nerdy with me. Or whatever floats your boat. ^_^